Living through the seasons of grief.
Timing is everything! Maybe . . . no, not quite everything. Well-meaning, but maybe misguided comforting friends would sometimes say, “Give it time.” “You’ll feel better in time.” Or the one that really disturbed me was, “Time will heal.” While I kept my polite exterior, on the inside I was screaming, “No! Time can never heal this indescribable pain!”
I have come to realize that no amount of time left to my own pain was going to really do the healing work. You and I are free moral agents. That means we can choose what we do with the 24 hours given to us each day. Left to my own pain, I could choose a life of denial, substance abuse to sooth the ache, anger to manage control, or any other destructive behaviors. So what are we to conclude about how time and grief interact?
This is what I found to be true: God is the Healer. He uses many different mediums to bring about healing for our broken hearts. Only one of them is time. So I began a mantra that reflected scripture, “He makes all things beautiful in its time.” For me, it made sense to trust God with the timing of the release of my pain and healing for my broken heart. In his wisdom, He would lead me step by step through the grieving process so that I could come out on the other side truly healed, not just covering up or abusing to appear restored to those around me. Already, you may have seen something, although minutely small, that is an evidence of beauty coming from the ashes of your loss. Possibly your eyes of pain are still so wounded that you haven’t observed it yet. I’d like to encourage you to be willing to look for the beauty. It will appear in the smile of a child, a sunset radiant with color, a budding crocus, a touch of a friend, or an inner peace. Please consider trusting God for his healing and the use of time bathed in His wisdom and power to do a complete healing work in your life.